A Wedding and A Surfboard

So…! It’s been pretty busy. There is constantly stuff I want to share. Honestly, I’m starting to consider switching my format into a video blog vs. written content. Two reasons: (1) it’s faster, and, (2) it’s just faster. LOL! If you’re a parent… you get it. Which reminds me of a funny thing I saw on Facebook re: people saying they are “Tired” & don’t have kids.


And, in case you want a quick laugh, check this one out. Nathan cannot get enough & will dance exactly like it!


Okay. Enough distractions. On to the post!

So, my best man got married! CRAZY. Haha, it all went so fast. I found out. Three months later. Boom. Married. I also had the pleasure of being his wedding MC. I probably should’ve jabbed a bit more at him; but, honestly, I prefer weddings to be clean, joyous, and a pure celebration. No need for shenanigans… no matter how socially expected it may be.

All to say, seeing my best man married got me thinking about my boy. In as possibly quick as 15 years, he could get married. That, was a daunting thought. It means I have 15 years to make sure he turns into an honorable, kind, caring, self sufficient, and socially contributory man.

I am VERY glad I have my wife in this quest. After all, she is a #HeroWife.


In addition to that big development, I also recently took up surfing.

See… years ago, I was a hardcore surfer. I mean, when the surf advisory was up, that means I was out surfing that nonsense. There were waves I rode that I had no business even thinking about. Many times, I’d come out of these obscure local spots where only a few people were looking on. After I was done, people would shake my hand and tell me I did great.

I was all confused. They were just waves. That was, until I turned around… and, saw the MONSTERS I was riding. Surfers were like little dots. And, I was one of those dots!

Ultimately, back in 2009 or early 2010, I went out to one of my favorite spots. Unfortunately, things went poorly. Tide went out, reef got exposed, and the waves jacked up 50% higher than anyone was prepared for. I sat there, bobbing around and dodging huge waves… wondering if I would ever get back in. Plus, we were getting swept out to the kelp beds due to the current. NOT GOOD.

After that time, I basically quit surfing. I felt it was too selfish of me to go on doing stuff like that.

Well… this summer, one of my best buds dragged me back into the water. The water temperature in San Diego was 75 degree F… warmer than the air temperature, many mornings and evenings.

Suffice to say, surfing is back in my life. And, it’s really nice to be back in the water. It’s also nice to feel like a smarter/wiser surfer. I feel I’m actually better at surfing now, even after taking such a long break. I think what has changed is that I’m much more judicious of the water conditions and the waves I go for. I need to be safe as much as I need to be having fun.

It’s not about me, anymore.

What connects surfing and fatherhood came when I started noticing a LOT of dads taking their kids out to learn how to surf. It spanned all ages; from 7-8yo to mid-teens. It was really cool to see. The kids were TALENTED, too. Now, other than teaching Nathan about the world at large and introducing him to martial arts… I can’t wait to take him surfing!


Oh, it was also kinda cool to see this blog on Top Dad Bloggers, again!

And, this…

Yup. #dadblogger #parentingblogger #Snapchat #starwars #starwarsfan #chewbacca

A video posted by Ben Fung (aka @DrBenFung) (@daddyintheraw) on

Joy And Sadness

So, as you can imagine, the 1st week away from home… working in clinic full time (for just that week) was rather “life changing” for my family. Rather, it was changing in terms of the fact that my being gone shuffled EVERYTHING around. And, it accentuated certain parenting patterns.

During one our play times last week, I realized from tussling with him along with a reaffirming conversation with my wife… that I am truly Joy & Sadness to my boy.

Whenever I get a chance, I try to play and be as happy as possible. So, whenever I’m stern… it MEANS something. My wife takes the brunt of the disciplinary presence… remorse comes from me… she get’s anger and resentment from our son.

*sighs*

I suppose that’s just how it kind of “is.” It’s a bit emotionally tragic as Nathan basically gets the “best” and “worst” emotions from me. It’s a huge responsibility. When I rebuke him, it basically shatters his soul. But, if I don’t, then we reinforce bad behaviors.Β For the moment, I guess this is how things are going to go down. Hopefully… it’s just a phase & these toddler emotions will even out.

Until then… I remain yours, emotionally dynamic…

Joy/Sad/Dad–dyInTheRaw

About Precious Moments

It’s easy to want kids to grow up fast.

ESPECIALLY, when they are toddlers. Yes, they are ridiculously cute at this stage. They are talking… and, talking back. They are walking… and, running away from you into dangerous traffic. They are eating… and, determined to paint the house with dinner. And, they LOVE the word “No!”

Take last night for example:Β Last night, we didn’t sleep… until it was already “tomorrow.” The time change screwed up our boy… and, it was a ROUGH night. It’s easy in times like this to just wish the kid would GROW UP!

Yet, I’d offer to say this is rather the wrong mindset.We need to ENJOY this little window time we have for precious moments… like these!

Nathan SMASHING his face into me… which he still does. And, I know one sad day… it’ll stop.

 

Or… Nathan getting so happy from playing his favorite game of knocking down blocks… he get’s sad.

 

Or, him getting FURIOUS at me… HOW DARE I TAKE HIM UP TO THE SLIDE… Oh, WAIT! THE SLIDE?!

He WAS angry. Then, became happy. #toddlerlife #lifewithatoddler #DaddyInTheRaw #DadBlog #dadblogger #workathomedad #stayathomedad #toddler

A photo posted by Ben Fung (aka @DrBenFung) (@daddyintheraw) on


I guess the point is this: Life only comes around once. And, you don’t get to rewind the tape and get that time back. Enjoy it! Enjoy (as best you can) those melt downs. Enjoy the emotional weirdness that is toddler life. These are precious moments.

These are the moments I quit an accelerated corporate career for. These are the moments I quit a $6-Figure job for. THESE are the moment I completely derailed the direction in my life… so, that I could be a better father.

Beating the Binky

So, we weren’t the most disciplined going into age 2 with dealing with the “binky.” He really relied on it a lot during the teething stages. And, well… life. So, we weren’t disciplined. We chose not to. Eh.

However, come early January, our entire family caught the flu. We were all sick for 2 weeks. In fact, Nathan even got an ear infection. Funny enough, all this got us to beat the binky, coooooooold turkey. This is how it went down: