Steak. Because, I Needed To.

Here’s a bonus blog post for today, following the theme of “A Year Looking Back.” I think it’s very good to be honest with ourselves, looking back on how we got to where we are. I pre-scheduled this post; but also, felt that “A Year Looking Back” was definitely worth posting for the same day.

These two posts will definitely demonstrate some contrast — NORMAL contrast, in the psychological experience of working at home. However, I do hope that contrast also brings some encouragement. Besides, this post is about food 😉 Enjoy!


So… after all this time scheduling out blog posts… I realized that it has been a LONG time since I talked about “How I Got Here.”

Well… what better way than to commiserate and reminisce… than with food.


So, this lovely Bone-In New York Steak came into my life during a time when I was really low. I got it, I cooked it, and I ate it… because, I needed to.

As you can see, this bone in steak has been butter basted with garlic and shallots. I had actually been inspired by watching Master Chef, followed by one of Gordon Ramsay’s YouTube “how to” videos about cooking steak in a pan. Typically, I’ve always grilled my steaks. It’s just how I always did it. I’ve always had wonderful results, even reaching a rare upon medium-rare with fillet mignons on a charcoal grill.

I’m just comfortable with fire.

Wait… that may not have come out right.

ANYWAY! The month was August. I graduated with my MBA in April. It had been the better part of 4 months of complete strike outs in the job market. As we revisit my frame of mind, we think on these facts: I have a doctorate. I’m a proven clinician and have demonstrated my management acumen. I also have an MBA from a recognized brand in business schools. I’ve never been more experienced, nor credentialed in my life.

And, I never got one single call back for interviews.

 

I probably applied to well over 150 jobs by this time. It got the point where I could run through any taleo or job portal with my eyes closed. I did it like a drone — zombified. One or two months with no feedback from the job market, no interviews… I was able to handle that. It was “understandable.” But, FOUR MONTHS?!

And, NOTHING?!

It became too much. And, by the time August rolled around, it wasn’t that I was gunning for MBA jobs. It just kind of crashed upon me that no matter how hard I tried, the job market will forever see me as a physical therapist. Sure, I got lots of head hunting calls about going back to clinical PT or to clinical management. But, that wasn’t why I got an MBA. That wasn’t why I asked my family to sacrifice so much.

I wanted more. When it turned August, this back order of emotions suddenly came to delivery. All the anguish I probably should’ve been feeling during early February, March… April, May, and even June… they all came back.

I was in a low, low place.

I was so low that my wife was truly worried about me.

She was a champ though… and, always is. She stuck by me. And, got me through that low point. As life would have it, Ralph’s was having a sale on Bone In New York Steak. 5 or 6 dollars a pound, if I remember correctly. I bought a 3 pack. I just had to. I needed to eat, be, feel, and cook as if I was still “a winner.”

Sure, we could’ve spent those 10-15 dollars on something more practical. But, sometimes, you just need to feed your soul. Sometimes, you just need your spirits lifted. Sometimes… a hot meal is exactly what is going to do just that.

Spring and Summer of 2015 were dark emotional times for me. It wasn’t until I hit fall that I actually  bounced back to my usual, very positive, super high energy, ultra optimistic self.

I got steak. Because, I needed to.

Sometimes, we just need to.

A Year Looking Back

Effective in May’ish of 2014, I stopped working in traditional roles and began a journey toward working at home. In February of 2015, much of a toll had been taken on myself as well as my family — financially, emotionally, mentally, professionally… the direction was missing. In fact, I was a little bit lost. I was finishing up my MBA with confusing job prospects. And, life was seemingly divergent in the paths I was to take. It was during this time that my family was at a critical point; mere moments away from finding out if we were going to move across the country and start over… completely over. Or, to chalk this up to a hard learned life lesson in… failure? Or… was it something more?

It was more 😉


The Beginning: How I Got Here

The REAL beginning 🙂


To really get a raw understanding of the “work” part of me and how it relates to me being a dad, we need to start from the beginning — the journey of my career path as well as how it related to the balance of me being a family man.

The Beginning: How I Got Here

So, many of you know me as “Doctor” Ben Fung; currently the Chief Content Officer for Up Doc Media & a known blogger in the Physical Therapy/Healthcare realm in regards to healthcare advocacy, business, marketing, branding, and all things in support of students & young professionals.

I am a Doctor of Physical Therapy (DPT), licensed to practice as a Physical Therapist (PT) in the state of California. Additionally, I have a Master of Business Administration from the University of Michigan. #GoBlue! And, have undergraduate degrees in Bioengineering & Psychology. Suffice to say, I’ve spent too much time in school. In my work life, I started out as a bartender way back in college while also making some money as a tutor and academic prep instructor for SATs & AP exams.

Eventually, life lead me to a place where I decided to go for that DPT degree & get into “real” work. Work… was good. But, it was tough from a professional standpoint. I felt very frustrated as a new professional having been duped in certain senses into an industry which is inflexible, highly political, and favors the experienced — despite the fact that how long one has done something rarely translates to how good they are at it. PS. That’s why I love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) so much — the mat never lies. But, that’s another post!

Moving on. What ultimately happened was that my professional frustration led me to seek mentorship. My mentor advised that I look beyond my ceiling as a PT. He told me to look into getting an MBA so I could bypass the shallow boundaries of a clinician and jump into management. Soon after, I got a promotion as a PT II (level 2, in many industries means you have some more responsibilities and also have benefits of seniority). Still feeling frustrated, my wife found a snail mail flyer about a Rehabilitation Director at a well reputed, high-end facility.

I was actually struggling a LOT about even applying. But, I did. And, I got the job! Along with this job was nearly a 15% raise in pay. Salary. Prestige. Responsibility. And, the opportunity to make the difference that old systems refused to address.

This is where everything changed.

Going into this promotion into another company, I knew several things. First, I knew that my benefits would be sacrificed. Having a baby on the way, my wife and I devised this plan which would get us a total of 9 weeks of baby bonding time with tapering back to work schedules for the last 6 weeks. All this went away with the new job. What was worse, this new job required my being over 100% involvement at every level… quite often the work was following me home to the point where I basically never left work, mentally. There were a lot of responsibilities I had to transition into; not to mention, my entrance into fatherhood.

Postpartum was really rough on my wife. This meant that it was hard on everyone; mommy, daddy, and baby alike. I wasn’t nearly as available as I wanted to be. In fact, my son was starting to exhibit behaviors to which I was in disfavor — he would refuse my play time, refuse my affection, and refuse my comfort. Why? Well, we thought that it was because I was never around. I was always at work, even when I was at home.

Despite the promotion, the prestige, the professional engagement, and even the money, we never felt worse off. Exhausted by a newborn and feeling tattered as a family, I eventually burnt out. It was either going to be work or family.

Family always comes first.

So, I quit.

I quit and we took a 6 week sabbatical to refocus, rejuvenate, and rest. It was great. It was so very much helpful. And, it was needed. We needed it.

We needed to be a family.

That is how it all began… when push came to shove. I told work to shove off. Still, no one can afford that indefinitely. We all have to figure out a way to make a living. But, feeling so terribly traumatized by the amount of work-life-imbalance… there were adjustments that would have to be made.

And, such was the veritable beginning of how I started my journey in becoming a work at home dad.

That’s it for now! Please use the “How I Got Here” category to follow in this story.

Still building the site!

Hi There! If you’re here, you probably heard about this from the PT Pintcast Podcast or some rumblings across social media. I’m still building out the site — so bear with me! … it just may take some time between, well…everything.

I’m hoping to launch around New Year, so stay tuned! << Edit: Looks like I’ll launch this month! YAY!

Nope! Call it surrounding New Year! Look forward to it on January 4th, 2016!

Best,
-Ben