Category Archives: Man Hour

There are man caves, to be sure — but, a work at home daddy doesn’t get to have one. I’m lucky to have an hour. Here I’ll be talking about stuff like martial arts, self defense, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, working out, fitness, video games, and dorky things I find entertaining as a man.

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March 15, 2016

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Man Hour

Man Hour: Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

For years and years and years… and, I mean YEARS… Surfing was the one thing that kept me sane. It was my “man hour” — it was the time I got for me, to unwind, relax, express myself, exert myself, and become better in and of my own. Well, after having done a couple local-style bucket list achievements via surfing, I almost got swept out to sea. That was that, especially since I was a newly wed and my wife doesn’t surf.

Instead, my efforts turned to…!

BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU

You have to understand that surfing was so big in my life that I started to make life lessons from surfing experiences.

  • If danger is coming at you, you must paddle towards it — duck under or dive over; but, never sit there waiting for it to come crashing down.
  • Success is best found when you go in the same direction, same speed, same force as the waves in life.
  • The closer you are to danger, the farther you are from harm.
  • Always find your safe spot just outside the line-up; stopping at the breakers will only cause you misery.
  • When tossed by a wave, just curl up into a ball — protect yourself and go with the wave… you’ll come out the other side & you’ll be fine.
  • Stuff like that!…. and, it was ENDLESS.

Well, BJJ has now taken it’s place.

I see so much similarity in terms of the life lessons available via BJJ. Things like:

  • If you’re in the right position, the threat is decreased (kind of like where you are on the water for surfing).
  • Be efficient in your movements; don’t let the opponent make more moves than you.
  • Life is like chess, not checkers. Your game should be strategic, not reactive.
  • Use your body as a whole, together. Try not to muscle or isolate your movements.

There are lots of great lessons, and honestly, you’re better hearing them from an instructor than myself, a humble student of the art.

The other big reasons why BJJ is important to me has to do with self defense. See, surfing, for me, was ultimately selfish past time. The only person truly gaining anything from surfing was me. It was the moments away, the moment on the waves, in the water, etc. However, when I got home, my family didn’t really gain anything from it. However, with BJJ, I gain a conditioning of body and mind that can also be utilized to defend my family should the unfortunate situation arise.

Not to mention, it is incredible exercise! Happy training!

Just testing this out with my #BJJ blue belt promotion pic. I’m hoping to launch come New Years. Stay tuned!

A photo posted by Ben Fung (aka @DrBenFung) (@daddyintheraw) on

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February 4, 2016

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Cooking/Food, How I Got Here, Man Hour

Steak. Because, I Needed To.

Here’s a bonus blog post for today, following the theme of “A Year Looking Back.” I think it’s very good to be honest with ourselves, looking back on how we got to where we are. I pre-scheduled this post; but also, felt that “A Year Looking Back” was definitely worth posting for the same day.

These two posts will definitely demonstrate some contrast — NORMAL contrast, in the psychological experience of working at home. However, I do hope that contrast also brings some encouragement. Besides, this post is about food 😉 Enjoy!

So… after all this time scheduling out blog posts… I realized that it has been a LONG time since I talked about “How I Got Here.”

Well… what better way than to commiserate and reminisce… than with food.


So, this lovely Bone-In New York Steak came into my life during a time when I was really low. I got it, I cooked it, and I ate it… because, I needed to.

As you can see, this bone in steak has been butter basted with garlic and shallots. I had actually been inspired by watching Master Chef, followed by one of Gordon Ramsay’s YouTube “how to” videos about cooking steak in a pan. Typically, I’ve always grilled my steaks. It’s just how I always did it. I’ve always had wonderful results, even reaching a rare upon medium-rare with fillet mignons on a charcoal grill.

I’m just comfortable with fire.

Wait… that may not have come out right.

ANYWAY! The month was August. I graduated with my MBA in April. It had been the better part of 4 months of complete strike outs in the job market. As we revisit my frame of mind, we think on these facts: I have a doctorate. I’m a proven clinician and have demonstrated my management acumen. I also have an MBA from a recognized brand in business schools. I’ve never been more experienced, nor credentialed in my life.

And, I never got one single call back for interviews.

 

I probably applied to well over 150 jobs by this time. It got the point where I could run through any taleo or job portal with my eyes closed. I did it like a drone — zombified. One or two months with no feedback from the job market, no interviews… I was able to handle that. It was “understandable.” But, FOUR MONTHS?!

And, NOTHING?!

It became too much. And, by the time August rolled around, it wasn’t that I was gunning for MBA jobs. It just kind of crashed upon me that no matter how hard I tried, the job market will forever see me as a physical therapist. Sure, I got lots of head hunting calls about going back to clinical PT or to clinical management. But, that wasn’t why I got an MBA. That wasn’t why I asked my family to sacrifice so much.

I wanted more. When it turned August, this back order of emotions suddenly came to delivery. All the anguish I probably should’ve been feeling during early February, March… April, May, and even June… they all came back.

I was in a low, low place.

I was so low that my wife was truly worried about me.

She was a champ though… and, always is. She stuck by me. And, got me through that low point. As life would have it, Ralph’s was having a sale on Bone In New York Steak. 5 or 6 dollars a pound, if I remember correctly. I bought a 3 pack. I just had to. I needed to eat, be, feel, and cook as if I was still “a winner.”

Sure, we could’ve spent those 10-15 dollars on something more practical. But, sometimes, you just need to feed your soul. Sometimes, you just need your spirits lifted. Sometimes… a hot meal is exactly what is going to do just that.

Spring and Summer of 2015 were dark emotional times for me. It wasn’t until I hit fall that I actually  bounced back to my usual, very positive, super high energy, ultra optimistic self.

I got steak. Because, I needed to.

Sometimes, we just need to.