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May 2, 2016

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Just Saying...

Relationships Should Make You BETTER

So, I felt compelled to write a blurb about relationships. I think relationships are such a fascinating thing in the human experience being that we actually get to (for the most part) choose who, how, and why we relate to each other.

That said, I also find it fascinating that many times, we as humans, tend to choose some of the worst situations in which to relate.

Relationships Should Make You BETTER

My wife, she certainly has made me a better man. And, if you’d ask her family, she would say that I made her better as well. I’ve blogged on Blog @DrBenFung in the past about Why Your Relationship is Lonely and 5 Signs You Are Meant To Be.

I want to build on the discussion here.

I believe that relationships should make you better. It should make you better, make areas you are weak stronger, make areas that frustrate you more peaceable, make otherwise presently strained relationships more amicable.

The last thing relationships should do is make you worse. Fight more. Argue more. Be irritable. Take you away from friends & family. Worse your attitude. Screw with your behaviors. THOSE things are HUGE warning signs that things aren’t going well.

Also, that whole problem of guys wanting to save girls or girls wanting to fix the guy… that whole “nice guys finish last” complex is a horrible thing for everyone involved. Good men get passed up for the bad boys. Good women get treated awful by immature dumb dumbs. And, it of course, extrapolates for any and every sway you can imagine.

It’s not who you relate to, it’s how you relate.

I also find that it’s tragic that many women are constantly in this state of emotional pause; waiting for the other shoe to drop… waiting for something terrible to happen… something, some secret they are hiding. The same goes for guys. Guys wait for the girls to go crazy… or just accept that they “are” crazy.

Again, all things BAD about relationships to which people are looking forward to.

It’s kinda tragic.

So, rather than such negativities. Let me offer that relationships that are good for you… ARE GOOD FOR YOU! #ThanksCaptainObvious

But, really… I wouldn’t be writing these thoughts unless I felt they needed to be said. If you take a look at the pure fact that MOST relationships won’t last and/or end the way they began (whether formal/informal, married/unmarried, exclusive/open)… the FACT is that when relating, should we wish for such relationships to be successful, we need to pursue the ones that make us better people, more joyful people, more constructive, more positive, more altruistic, and generally happier in life.

A good relationships makes you happy in who you are as much as you are happy in who you are with.

Well… those are my thoughts.

On a similar note, I’ve been writing out 200+ possible podcast episodes… I’m STILL flirting with this idea of a relationship advice based podcast. Short little nuggets of wisdom. I’m on topic #232. When I get to #260… I’ll have one year’s worth of topics to talk through… maybe by then, I’ll start. AND, of course… I’ll have to incorporate Q&A 😉

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April 28, 2016

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How I Got Here, Making Ends Meet: Finance, Failure, and Freaking Out

A Year Out Of School, Again

So, it’s been a year… nearly to the day, that I graduated. Again. LOL!

What has happened? Well… EVERYTHING.

Graduating with my MBA to tag onto my other graduate degree, the Doctor of Physical Therapy (DPT) degree… I sought to re-enter the world of healthcare at the business/operations beat of the realm. I was only to find that everyone and their neighbor’s uncle’s friend’s cousin’s roommate’s bartender wanted me to do what???

Return as a Director of Rehab.

Yay……..

I mean, if I wanted to be that, I would stayed that. I wanted to DO SO MUCH MORE. I wanted to be around my family more. I wanted to effect change at greater scales. I didn’t want to go back to where I started… it was ridiculous.

Well… as things turned out, I joined a startup company (as you know)… UpDoc Media!

Things are going well. We’ve been growing steadily, quickly, and things are getting very exciting. I’m hoping to be able to share things later on as the dust settles.

Before things got good… well, I basically applied to every corporate job imaginable, in the scope of non-clinical management. Annnnnnnnnd…. #Bust. Yup. No one wanted me. They wanted me to do my old job. #Irony

I also continued my work to be a big advocate for students and developing professionals. Personally, this is a huge driving factor — setting up the future generations for success. I just love it.

All to say, looking back at how I got here, I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s been nearly 2 years since I’ve been a work at home dad, full time. A year since I’ve graduated with the MBA. And, 6 months since my company launched. Things are happening!

#ThatIsAll

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April 21, 2016

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Man Hour

Back On The Mat

So, maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago I got my thumb “popped” in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ). In all honestly, it was an accident / mostly my own stupid fault. I was wearing my looser gi and my hand got stuck. While address that and not actually paying attention to the match, my hand finally got free. However, in doing this and being all distracted… I allowed my partner to take mount. But, I was a dumb dumb and let him kinda sling shot into mount.

In English, I was keeping him at bay from establishing a top position where he basically sits on top of my torso. However, by doing all that nonsense with getting my hand free out of my gi and not paying attention… he suddenly launched into that position at the exact same time my hand came out.

Result: His knee/thigh slide over my torso and straight onto my left thumb.

POP!

I exclaimed for a sec… but, decided to finish the last minute of the match. No harm done… I thought.

Well, I thought…

It appeared to be a typical hyperextension sprain. I’ve had these before from basketball in my faaaaaaar younger days. I thought things were going great 24hrs post injury. That was, until my son heel kicked… more or less like this:

Yeahhhhhhh….. suffice to say. IT HURT A LOT. I mean, it hurt SO BAD… I don’t remember such pain except for when I broke my arm… that one moment when my nerves still worked before I broke my arm.

I didn’t think my thumb was broken. But, if it wasn’t before… it was SURE TO BE after Nathan flipping axe kicked it. *sighs* Diaper changes… it’s as dirty as it is dangerous.

In any case, the whole next day… it hurt like hell. I mean it just kept hurting. I finally set up an appointment, got it x-rayed… and, had an office visit with a savvy DO. Films were clear. We agreed on a ligamentous injury. And, he was pleasantly respectful of me being a DPT.

He came into the room with me reading some sports med journal that was in the magazine pile. The DO never knew it was there. Ironically, it was his subscription! *LOL*

In any case… super pleasant visit. I was glad to know there was no fracture. I got hooked up with some braces via a family member… and… tonight, I was brave enough to finally hit the mat again.

Thanks to some awesome training partners who are beyond respectful of each other and that much more cognizant of their training partner’s safety, I felt comfortable enough to spar. When rolling, I realized that I could still survive with just 1.5 arms available. It was a pretty cool experience to the fact that I was still able to hold my own and even sink some armlocks. #ThankYouFundamentals

In any case… it’s nice to be back on the mat 🙂

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April 15, 2016

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Child Development, It's A Phase...

Joy And Sadness

So, as you can imagine, the 1st week away from home… working in clinic full time (for just that week) was rather “life changing” for my family. Rather, it was changing in terms of the fact that my being gone shuffled EVERYTHING around. And, it accentuated certain parenting patterns.

During one our play times last week, I realized from tussling with him along with a reaffirming conversation with my wife… that I am truly Joy & Sadness to my boy.

Whenever I get a chance, I try to play and be as happy as possible. So, whenever I’m stern… it MEANS something. My wife takes the brunt of the disciplinary presence… remorse comes from me… she get’s anger and resentment from our son.

*sighs*

I suppose that’s just how it kind of “is.” It’s a bit emotionally tragic as Nathan basically gets the “best” and “worst” emotions from me. It’s a huge responsibility. When I rebuke him, it basically shatters his soul. But, if I don’t, then we reinforce bad behaviors. For the moment, I guess this is how things are going to go down. Hopefully… it’s just a phase & these toddler emotions will even out.

Until then… I remain yours, emotionally dynamic…

Joy/Sad/Dad–dyInTheRaw