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April 5, 2016

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Disney, Making Ends Meet: Finance, Failure, and Freaking Out

A Week Away From Home

So… due to life and bills to pay, I found myself away from home and in clinic for an entire week. Now, first things first: I was very thankful to this relationship with this local clinic I per diem at. We have a wonderful working arrangement and it helps that we’re pretty darn close in terms of a drive/walk. #Awesome

Well, what was supposed to be more of a half day all week turned into practically full time work all week. It worked out in most respects in that there are bills to pay and we gotta do the work, sometimes & many times, that we rather not.

I learned a lot about the healthcare consumer, my role as a clinical physical therapist, and even how that despite such a break from clinical care these last (nearly) two years… I’m still spot on with so much of what I do. I guess it really is like what they say about “riding a bike.” Now, while I enjoyed being in the clinic again… what hurt was being away from family.

After all, this was the first time in TWO YEARS I was away from home and family at a full time pace.

Ultimately, being away all day for a full time equivalent work week… I noticed something truly remarkable in parenting. First, my son was in a bad mood most of the day. Even though I took lunch at home, my wife would tell me how grumpy he would be in my absence. Our boy just likes having both parents around. We also, ironically, realized that mommy & daddy represented certain facets of emotions… much like Disney’s Inside Out.

Mommy = Anger, Fear, and Disgust.

Daddy = Joy & Sadness.

How accurate was this? Well… one day, I came home and Nate went from absolute anger-fit to super giggle happy. He got so happy we were running around and he ran into a wall. Immediately… he began to cry in the saddest most pitiful cry ever.

Well… that seemed to be our dynamic for the week. The biggest lesson I learned was this: I belong at home. I am MEANT to be Daddy In The Raw… a work at home dad.

I can’t say it’s been easy. I can’t even say it’s been financially advisable (yet! some big news, hopefully around the corner) or emotionally stable. However, it is something I know is right for my family.

Well, after such a long and hard week, we felt there was no better way than to make a quick impromptu trip to Disneyland 🙂

Here are some highlights:

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Crazy swag!

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Selfie after front row seating at the Paint The Night Parade.

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Entrance into Tomorrowland.

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How it started in the front. Now, diamonds in the back.

Ultimately, I learned that no matter where you are on your journey… you must find your home. Your home might be your actual home. It may be your family, your friends, your profession, your passion, your hobby, etc. Whatever that home is, find yourself there and start there. Why? Well… everyone starts somewhere. Even, Walt Disney.

And, the key is: You have to START.

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March 27, 2016

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Disney, How I Got Here, Just Saying...

6 Years & Then Some

So, this post is kind of an all in one combo post. Things got OUT OF HAND this month. I know, I know… it was supposed to be this catch up month with all of my prelaunch materials. Well, I made a rookie blogger mistake. Well, a pair of rookie blogger mistakes.

First, never slate out posts too far in advance. Many times, those posts just aren’t relevant by the time they arrive on deck for release. Second, catch up posts tend to be inherently out of date… it’s best just to do one big catch up post and move forward. Well… THIS, is my catch up all in one post.

A week ago, on March 20th, my wife and I celebrated our SIXTH wedding anniversary. Yeah. What happened?! 5th year seemed to be… yesterday, maybe? Maybe and possibly a week ago? But, an entire year?! Time flies when you’re married to someone awesome 🙂

It also dawned on me that not only have we been married for 6 years, Nathan has been with us for the better part of half of our years together. That’s a very special thing. And, it really made me appreciate how much of our parenthood is woven into the fabric of our marriage. You know what they say, Be sure you understand that who you marry will also be the parent of your child(ren).

Welps! Here are some highlights!

Nate got tired, and couldn’t even handle it…

And… I mean, REALLY couldn’t even…

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Also, check out this BEAUTY of a view. The trains are out of commission right now as Disneyland is building out Star Wars Land. But, have no fear, the trains are parked strategically for guests to experience on board.

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All together, it’s been amazing. I realized that year 5, quite literally, FLEW by. There’s been a lot that’s been happening. Emotionally, financially, mentally, physically, professionally, parentally, etc. It really struck me that, I need to step back and enjoy these precious moments. Otherwise, it may very well render how we got here meaningless when we forget WHY we started this journey to begin with.

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PS. My wife totally got chased down by some lady who was INTENT on complimenting her for the message on her shirt. Well, I’ll say she is 😉

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March 15, 2016

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How I Got Here, Just Saying...

About Precious Moments

It’s easy to want kids to grow up fast.

ESPECIALLY, when they are toddlers. Yes, they are ridiculously cute at this stage. They are talking… and, talking back. They are walking… and, running away from you into dangerous traffic. They are eating… and, determined to paint the house with dinner. And, they LOVE the word “No!”

Take last night for example: Last night, we didn’t sleep… until it was already “tomorrow.” The time change screwed up our boy… and, it was a ROUGH night. It’s easy in times like this to just wish the kid would GROW UP!

Yet, I’d offer to say this is rather the wrong mindset.We need to ENJOY this little window time we have for precious moments… like these!

Nathan SMASHING his face into me… which he still does. And, I know one sad day… it’ll stop.

 

Or… Nathan getting so happy from playing his favorite game of knocking down blocks… he get’s sad.

 

Or, him getting FURIOUS at me… HOW DARE I TAKE HIM UP TO THE SLIDE… Oh, WAIT! THE SLIDE?!

He WAS angry. Then, became happy. #toddlerlife #lifewithatoddler #DaddyInTheRaw #DadBlog #dadblogger #workathomedad #stayathomedad #toddler

A photo posted by Ben Fung (aka @DrBenFung) (@daddyintheraw) on


I guess the point is this: Life only comes around once. And, you don’t get to rewind the tape and get that time back. Enjoy it! Enjoy (as best you can) those melt downs. Enjoy the emotional weirdness that is toddler life. These are precious moments.

These are the moments I quit an accelerated corporate career for. These are the moments I quit a $6-Figure job for. THESE are the moment I completely derailed the direction in my life… so, that I could be a better father.

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March 15, 2016

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Man Hour

Man Hour: Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

For years and years and years… and, I mean YEARS… Surfing was the one thing that kept me sane. It was my “man hour” — it was the time I got for me, to unwind, relax, express myself, exert myself, and become better in and of my own. Well, after having done a couple local-style bucket list achievements via surfing, I almost got swept out to sea. That was that, especially since I was a newly wed and my wife doesn’t surf.

Instead, my efforts turned to…!

BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU

You have to understand that surfing was so big in my life that I started to make life lessons from surfing experiences.

  • If danger is coming at you, you must paddle towards it — duck under or dive over; but, never sit there waiting for it to come crashing down.
  • Success is best found when you go in the same direction, same speed, same force as the waves in life.
  • The closer you are to danger, the farther you are from harm.
  • Always find your safe spot just outside the line-up; stopping at the breakers will only cause you misery.
  • When tossed by a wave, just curl up into a ball — protect yourself and go with the wave… you’ll come out the other side & you’ll be fine.
  • Stuff like that!…. and, it was ENDLESS.

Well, BJJ has now taken it’s place.

I see so much similarity in terms of the life lessons available via BJJ. Things like:

  • If you’re in the right position, the threat is decreased (kind of like where you are on the water for surfing).
  • Be efficient in your movements; don’t let the opponent make more moves than you.
  • Life is like chess, not checkers. Your game should be strategic, not reactive.
  • Use your body as a whole, together. Try not to muscle or isolate your movements.

There are lots of great lessons, and honestly, you’re better hearing them from an instructor than myself, a humble student of the art.

The other big reasons why BJJ is important to me has to do with self defense. See, surfing, for me, was ultimately selfish past time. The only person truly gaining anything from surfing was me. It was the moments away, the moment on the waves, in the water, etc. However, when I got home, my family didn’t really gain anything from it. However, with BJJ, I gain a conditioning of body and mind that can also be utilized to defend my family should the unfortunate situation arise.

Not to mention, it is incredible exercise! Happy training!

Just testing this out with my #BJJ blue belt promotion pic. I’m hoping to launch come New Years. Stay tuned!

A photo posted by Ben Fung (aka @DrBenFung) (@daddyintheraw) on